I'm F**king Maaaaaatt Daaaaamooonnn

I don't like doing two posts full of YouTube clips in a  row, cause it's SHIT LAZY, but I found these clips while tidying up my hard drive today, and just had to get them back out into the world. Back in ye olden days of 2008, the world was blessed with not one, but two, meme-tastic videos. It was a running gag on Jimmy Kimmel's show that at the end of the night he'd 'bump' Matt Damon's appearance and say something along the lines of 'My apologies to Matt Damon, we're out of time tonight'. Sarah Silverman saw an opportunity where others just saw simple lols. Behold, Part 1:

Oh yes.

But Jimmy wasn't just going to sit idly by and take it lying down. Them apples were HIS apples, goddammit! A wounded yet defiant man, he countered with this heartfelt ode:

OH YES. 'Matt Damon' makes me laugh, but 'Ben Affleck' makes me CRY. And it's not cause I'm swayed by Lance from Nsync being in it. Ok...maybe a bit. A little bit. To this entire exchange I say:

Bullshit music Monday

I have been delivered a few aural treats in the last 24 hours, so it would just be rude of me not to share. The first one has gone insanely viral so you may (or, if you're really lucky, may not) have heard of this one. As I type, she is currently the top trending topic in Australia. Good lord. 'Friday' by Rebecca Black.

I really think Rebecca Black has done the world a favour. Everyone is suffering from a little bit of Charlie Sheen meme fatigue, so it's nice to have something fresh to mock relentlessly. Her lyric about the order of the days of the week will be on a tshirt before the end of the year, mark my words. I was questioning the sanity of whoever would bankroll the recording of the 'song', and the production of the (in parts, quite slick-looking) video. Turns out there's a production company that targets tween girls, writes them a song, records it with shitloads of auto-tune, does up a video and makes them 'stars'. I don't think it's particularly exploitive, if the parents are silly enough to cough up the cash, then that's their problem, but I do feel really sorry for the kids. You're 13, and everyone on the internet is laughing at you. That's gotta be a great self-esteem boost at a particularly fragile time in your life! I did watch a few of the other girls' videos, and while the lyrics were (slightly) better, they were still just as depressing, so we'll just leave it there.

Next up, we have BANGS (yep, capitals), the Sudanese casanova who wants to 'Take U To Da Movies'.

If I'm being honest, the more I watch this, the more insanely charming I find it. Safe to say that English probably isn't the first language of Señor BANGS, but his dedication to THUG LYFE is clear in any language. Just like Rebecca Black explaining that Sunday comes 'afterwards' Saturday, BANGS explains that 3.30pm is half an hour away from 4.00pm. They educate the kids, man. They provide a SERVICE, and ask for nothing in return. Except for some popcorn maybe.

I just couldn't leave BANGS there. I needed more. I clicked on the promising sounding 'My Special Girl'.

BANGS wants to let you know that you're his 'Special Girl', but he also wants to you know that he's operating at a maximum level of pimp. Exposing his little pigeon chest maximises his pimp status. Looking up his own website maximises his pimp status. Forcing his bling upon you maximises his pimp status. This guy is one badass PIMP, yo! I had to leave the world of BANGS, lest he slap me with his pimp cane. I just can't handle that kind of power.

As for this next one, I'm going to pre-apologise for posting it, but it needs to be seen. It's a 'local production' called 'Summer' by someone called Vee, but I like to call it 'Scarborough Slappers in bikinis with Garageband and a video camera'. I AM SORRY.

I can't even...I can't...oh god. I think the commenter who said 'This is worse than the holocaust' really sums it up, and I can't articulate it any better than that.

I applaud all the above artists on getting their work out there, as I know I certainly wouldn't be brave enough to release a shining example of my burning shititude onto the internet.

BRAVO, sirs!

EDIT: BREAKING NEWS! Damn these exciting, fluid memes! Please now feast your ears upon 'Friday' by Rebecca Black, as performed by (a) Bob Dylan (impersonator).

That was a little bit excellent. Kudos.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Good Bye

Today when I get home from work, I will sit down to watch the last episode of one of the best dramas of the past decade. I know what you're thinking. 'How can some dumb jock show ACTUALLY be considered a significant contribution to the television landscape? It's about SPORTS!' I know quite a few people who would dismiss Friday Night Lights on the grounds that not only is it a sports show,  it's a show about a sport they have no interest in.

Those people are missing out.

I will admit I started watching it BECAUSE of the football element, but stayed for the compelling storylines, the knockout performances from a cast largely made up of inexperienced actors, and the genuine connection I felt for the characters. Take Matt Saracen for example. He's 16 when we first meet him. A young kid running a household by himself as his Mum's AWOL and his Dad is in Iraq. He's the backup quarterback for the Dillon Panthers and is pretty unlikely to get a game ahead of their superstar starter, but he's ok with that. Caring for his grandmother with Alzheimer's and concentrating on his studies are more important. He doesn't want to play football in college, and even if he did, not being able to get a game kills his chance of a scholarship, so good results are the only way he's going to get out of Dillion and make something of himself.  The Panthers are shattered in the first game of the season when their quarterback, the dynamo who was without question going to lead the school to victory in the State Championship game, makes a poor decision in a tackle and ends up a paraplegic. Saracen has to step up, and not only become the leader of a team that is heavily grieving, but the leader of an entire town relying on him to fulfil the Panthers' destiny of greatness. No pressure, right?

A teen drama it ain't, and a one-dimensional meathead sports romp it ain't either. I wouldn't really call myself a tv-aholic, I'm weeks behind on most of the shows I watch, and there's plenty of shows I just haven't got around to watching even though I want to, but Friday Night Lights has always been the show I couldn't miss. Being from Australia, where up until recently converage of the NFL on free to air tv only extended to the Superbowl, it really felt like the show was my own little secret, and it felt like my own to enjoy and keep sacred.

When I heard that the show wasn't going to continue beyond season 5, I was obviously bummed, but y'know. All good things must come to an end. Now that it's D-Day and I have one hour of tv left with my beloved Coach, and Riggs, and Mrs Coach and the rest, I'm not quite so ready to let it go. While I can only imagine that it's written in stone that the Lions will win the State Championship, there are so many other loose ends that I'm scared won't be tied up. Admittedly I should have faith in a show that hasn't put a foot wrong in five years (excluding the 'storyline that shall not be spoken of' in season 2), but there's some big stuff going down. I'm going to be genuinely nervous hitting the play button tonight.

The outpouring of love for this show on the internet now that we're faced with the end really shows what an impact it's had. Maureen Ryan wrote on TV Squad 'Friday Night Lights' was very good when it started, but it quickly developed into one of the most innovative, moving and thoughtful shows of the modern era. It wasn't perfect, but television as a whole could learn a lot from what FNL did well.

Alan Stepinwall of Hitfix articulates it far better than I:

There's a level of honest, raw humanity in "Friday Night Lights" that few TV dramas have ever achieved. Over and over and over, the show and its characters wore their hearts on their sleeves, in a way that somehow made them more solid than characters on other series of comparable quality.
That rawness made the show great, but it was also likely one of the aspects (along with the high school football setting) that kept the show from being a hit, as most viewers don't turn to TV to be confronted by emotions as powerful as the ones this series brought up. Watching "Friday Night Lights" often felt like being put through a ringer. You felt like part of the town, and the team, and you bled with the characters and cried with them, and on occasion you got to soar with them, too. And a lot of people simply don't want to get that close to the fictional characters they watch - don't feel that experiencing the devastating lows is worth also getting to share in the glorious highs.

One thing's for certain. Tonight I will cry like a little bitch. Be it at the opening credits (99% chance, they make me teary at the best of times), if (when) the Lion win and Vince gets to share the victory with his recovering drug-addict mother (80%), if Luke gets to follow his dreams to college (90%), or if (and this is a BIG IF) Smash comes back and at any point leads the 'Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose' warcry (100%, I'm tearing up now just thinking about it).

Riggins: Here's to God, and football, and ten years from now Street, good friends livin' large in Texas. 
Street: Texas forever.

Texas Forever. And ever.

My 2010 (Movies)

Yes, I do realise I'm SUPER late in doing my 2010 wrap-ups, but there were a few movies I needed to see before I did my list. These aren't in strict order (well, not past the first three, anyway), and at no point do I claim they were the 'best' movies of 2010, just the ones I enjoyed the most. Keep in mind that I am a girl, and will often value cute boys and explosions over technical prowess in any area of film-making. Here we go.

1. Inception
I don't think I really even need to justify this one at #1. It was clearly the most ambitious movie of the year, which resulted in it being the most talked-about. It looked amazing (and no, I'm not just talking about JGL in a suit), the plot was so pretzel-like that I actually forgot how many levels they were at and had a bit of a freak out at the end, and the CONCEPT itself was just so thought-provoking. Loved it.

2. The King's Speech
There were just so many levels in which to enjoy this movie. Appreciation for the script, appreciation of the acting (props to Colin Firth's dialect coach), and appreciation of the cinematography. As a photographer watching this movie, it was like being kicked in the face with the Rule of Thirds. The way they used it to keep the mood so rigid while all this snappy dialogue was going on was just...delicious. The shot where Colin Firth was smooshed into the front third and looking out of the frame made me squeal a little. They were BREAKING THE RULES and I felt so naughty watching it. Oh, and the story was great. And it was the first time I had ever warmed to Helena Bonham-Carter in a role. But the best bit was the way it looked. Oh god. I need to watch it again right now...

3. Scott Pilgrim vs the World

There have been arguments that this movie was a little inaccessible as it was clearly aimed at a very niche group of people, but being that I'm a child of the 90s who played 8-bit video games (thus being smack-bang in the middle of that niche), I find those arguments IRRELEVANT.  I knew nothing of the comics before seeing the movies, so it was like riding a magical slingshot into this mystery world where the ruling factors were indie rock and video games. I mean COME ON. This movie is an embodiment of all that is good and pure in this world, and I will hear nothing to the contrary.

4. The Blind Side

I have many weaknesses, but one of my top 5 weaknesses is uplifting sporting movies. I am taking a tiny bit of liberty with this one, as technically it was released in 2009, but it was released here at the start of 2010, so BACK OFF. The true story of Michael Oher, a poor kid who was adopted by a white well-to-do family and went on to become a trillionaire superstar with the Baltimore Ravens. I can't say I was convinced that Sandra Bullock deserved the Oscar, the star of the movie was by far Quinton Aaron. The constant look of hopelessness in his eyes made for somewhat stressful viewing. You just feel so INVOLVED from the get go.

5. The Social Network

I got to admit, I wasn't planning on liking this one. How good could it be? A movie about some douchey nerd who made some website (that I am painfully reliant on for my day-to-day dealings)? What I was faced with was a fascinating look into the mechanics of a growing empire. The struggle when a friendship becomes a business partnership. It's a bit of a slow-grind subtle movie, but it's worth it. As a ridiculous boy band fan, I cannot comment on Justin Timberlake in an unbiased manner, but I thought he was awesome. He's a natural in front of the camera, it's just a shame that he may never get taken seriously as an actor. The script was great considering the strange subject matter, and the ending could not have been more perfect. If there was an award for 'Best Movie Ending' this would have taken it out.

6. Kick Ass

I loved this movie so hard. Oh man. This is the only one I saw twice at the cinema, mainly because I went into it totally blind with no idea what to expect, and subsequently had my MIND BLOWN so had to see it again to really appreciate all the stuff I missed while my brains were leaking over the floor. I can't compare it to the comic cause I still haven't read it (eep), so my opinion is that of a moviegoer, not a comic book geek. That first scene where Hit Girl wails on a room full of dudes is one of the greatest things to happen in cinema this year.

7. Toy Story 3

As someone who still has a bunny she received when she was 6, yeah, I can relate to feeling an attachment to inanimate objects. I don't even know what I can say about this movie that hasn't been said by everyone else. The story was really strong, the new characters were great, and I had a cry headache from trying not to sob in front of people in the cinema. That scene in the incinerator...I felt sick. Solidarity in the face of certain death. Man. *wipes tear away*

8. Secretariat

Remember my weakness for uplifting sporting movies? Combine that with my weakness for uplifting horse movies. BAM! Secretariat. I've seen 99% of the horseracing movies out there, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is my favourite. I judge racing movies on the quality of the actual race sequences, and this movie nailed it. I guess with Seabiscuit the film-makers were stuck in a hard place because they had to SHOW Tobey Maguire on the horse, but the blatantly fake horse head that he was 'riding' totally killed it for me. Secretariat is not as much of a 'fluffy' movie as you'd expect from Disney, but I guess being a well-known true story they couldn't take too many liberties. The version I 'obtained' is a really bad cam version, so I look forward to it coming out on DVD so I can watch it properly.

9. Dear John

First point: yes, it is a Nicholas Sparks adaption, no, you won't cry like you did in The Notebook. I guess the reason I liked this movie so much was the story, so it's really nothing to do with the movie itself, but...whatever. It is the classic Nicholas Sparks 'Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Tragedy ensues', but it really all comes a bit out of left field, and it's not your traditional love story at all. You won't cry like you did in The Notebook, but your heart will break a million times. Considering Channing Tatum has only been in dopey boofhead movies for most of his career, and actually had to use his skills instead of his abs in this one, he did a good job.

10. The A Team

SPEAKING of dopey boofhead movies! :D To say this movie shit all over Iron Man 2 is one major understatement. There was cute boys, explosions, and lols. I've been getting into the original A Team as they've been showing eps on the tv, and the movie captured the vibe perfectly. Though...new Face is way cuter.

11. Stuff I Saw That I Really Liked and Just Missed Out

How To Train Your Dragon
I liked it a lot, but I wasn't doing backflips over it. To be honest I was too preoccupied trying to work out which character was being voiced by David Tennant. But it was a great lesson in 'You can be awesome even if you're a little bit shit'.
Valentines Day
Yes. The one with Ashton Kutcher. Yes. The one that is a gigantic rip-off of Love Actually. Yes. That one. I absolutely loved it, and it so so very nearly made my top 10. I mean, c'mon. The movie ended and I LIKED Ashton Kutcher! Magic movie!

Red Hill
It's probably super condescending to say, but it was great for an Aussie movie. The suspense covered up the plot holes and questionable character motivations. But there was Ryan Kwanten, and guns, and horses. Also a panther. No, I don't know either.

Remember Me
So, remember how we all loved R-Pattz as Cedric Diggory, but wouldn't touch him after he entered into 'that franchise?' Well, we all just need to ride out the wave of horror for the next few years, cause once those festering excuses for literature are finished with, hopefully we can expect more movies like this one. It was a bit of a slow burn, but the boy can ACT! And be CHARMING! And ENGAGING! I do suggest watching this one for the ending. You're cruising along, thinking 'Hm, I'm not really super invested in these characters' and then BAM.

MOAR 2010 to come! Next up, my year in music.

Sup, doodz?

I am fully aware that including this one my last three posts have been about WoW, and as a self-loathing WoW player I really don't feel good about it, but I thought I'd take the time to unleash my highly pixellated doodz upon you all. I'm sure there's a better way to get a picture of them, but whatEVER.

This is the first guy I made, a Night Elf Druid. His range attack sucked balls and I didn't know how to do anything else, so within about ten seconds of logging in to WoW for the very first time I was dead. Sure, I probably shouldn't have pissed off that pig, but we learn from our mistakes. I only just yesterday got him up to level 10, but I don't really know if I'll continue with him. I also only just got him pants. He was wearing that tunic and what was essentially matching underwear, and he looked like he was representing the Gay Pride faction of Azeroth. I need to get him some shoes, he looks like a filthy hippie.

This is the second guy I made (but on my first night, like Taladen), a Human Hunter. I like that he has a wolf (named Wuff), but I don't like that he looks like he's wearing a dress. I've yet to spend the time tracking him down some MAN PANTS. His guild tabard looks rad though. Check him out! I'm guessing he will probably end up being my Alliance main, but I don't like him THAT much, and to be honest it really pisses me off that his name is displayed as 'Mcclayne' instead of the intended ' McClayne'. He's technically named after John McClane, but he does not have anywhere near the required badassery to be worthy of that title.

Typhir is my faaaaaavourite. But I think it's mainly just cause he's a cow. Though he's a massively badass black cow. With hate in his eyes. His pet thing is really very crap, an ostrich type thing I called KFC, but it does its job. Of killing fellow birds in a brutal manner. He'll definitely be my Horde main, and will actually probably be my MAIN main, despite the fact that most of my friends are Alliance, so he'll have no one to hang out with, but does it LOOK LIKE HE CARES?

No.

 

I am Murloc. No, *I* am Murloc.

So, I'm not really the type to do a blog just to post a YouTube video...but I am today. Last night I was trying to get my Human to 10, for the ridiculous reason that I downloaded the WoW Armory app but it doesn't recognise your characters until they're at least a 10. For the record I only got to 9 before I got bored, but anyway.

The POINT is that I encountered (and killed the hell out of) my first Murloc last night. And then I found this song on someone's Tumblr, and I lol'd. You'll lol too.

World of WHAT-NOW?

I'm back, y'all! I'm going to try to not be such a lazy blogger in 2011, but you know. I get bored quickly. Blogs feel like homework, and if I'm procrastinating I can almost always find something else to do.

But really I'm back because I have news. Yeah! Firstly, I have a Tumblr. I did actually think of moving the whole blog over to Tumblr, but while it's easy to generate content, you just don't have as much opportunity for discussion & feedback as you do on a normal blog. So, main blog will stay here, and little funny bits and pieces will be posted over there.

Second, well...it's something I'm not really that proud of:

I've started playing World of Warcraft. Well, I guess 'playing' is maybe a bit of a stretch, 'running around getting lost' is more what I'm doing, but nonetheless I'm participating. It's only been a  couple of days, but I do think I'm destined to be a bit of a self-loathing WoW-er. I've had a lot of friends who've played WoW for a long time, and for me it's always seemed to be the final barrier between casual nerdiness and epic nerd-dom. Like 'Sure, I'm a bit of a nerd, but it's not like I play WARCRAFT!' It was an early Christmas gift from Luke and Suzanne, and while I suspect it was a thinly veiled attempt to get more real-life friends in their guild, it would have been suuuuuper rude of me to reject the gift. So, A-Warcrafting I went.

The whole experience started off really badly. After 6 hours of installing, and downloading, and swearing, and wishing I'd never bothered with any of it, I finally had it all done and made up a character. Hurrah! Then I tried to go into the world, and my computer blue-screened. Tried again, another crash. Tried again, crashed again. Uninstalled the game and tried to just run it off a hard drive. CRASH. Checked all my computer's specs against the recommended specs for the game, and my video card exceeded what was required. Siiiigh. Tried it on my netbook (yes, the baby computer designed only for reading emails and casual web surfing) and it worked fine. WHAT. I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of playing the game on a 10" screen with a computer that does struggle with the graphics on occasion, but I seem to have no other option.

My second hurdle was the gameplay. I'm a child of the SNES/Gameboy/Playstation era, and apart from a joystick with the old Commodore 64 I've only EVER used game controllers to play games, and even then, I'm not really a 'gamer'. The co-ordination required to use keys and mouse to do things was just TOO MUCH. I 'played' for about two hours on that first night (though really, most of it was spent figuring out how to, like, walk) and my brain was super fried. I was lucky enough to have some guild members around to help me though, but at that point I was kind of over it and not really sure that I was going to bother continuing.

Played a little by myself the next day, and got my co-ordination figured out a bit more, but I still wasn't overly enjoying it. I'd abandoned my Night Elf druid in favour of a Human hunter, cause the pet wolf was a lifesaver while I was trying to not die.

Was talking to a few friends the next day who gave me some super useful tips which streamlined the gameplay and dampened some of my frustration. Using 'W' to go forward was WAY easier than holding both mouse buttons, and then 'Auto-run' was even better. Auto-loot was saving a bit of time, though I haven't quite worked out where I can sell my extra items, so it made my bag fill up pretty quickly. Started a Tauren to try out all these tricks, and got to level 9 in half the time it took me to get to level 7 with the Human. Progress!

It's still kind of fiddly, and my Achilles Heel is my inability to turn around quickly, but it's OKAY. Two days ago I was hovering over the button to kill my account, but I've moved from fiery rage to grudging tolerance so I guess I'll just stick at it. The only real problem now is that playing with the Tauren makes my Human look super boring, so I want a werewolf guy, but to get a werewolf guy I'd need to buy the other two expansions. I feel gross enough over having to pay money to keep playing the game in the first place, but paying EXTRA money to play it? I'm just not up to that point yet.

I'm clearly not above accepting gifts, though.