Sup, doodz?

I am fully aware that including this one my last three posts have been about WoW, and as a self-loathing WoW player I really don't feel good about it, but I thought I'd take the time to unleash my highly pixellated doodz upon you all. I'm sure there's a better way to get a picture of them, but whatEVER.

This is the first guy I made, a Night Elf Druid. His range attack sucked balls and I didn't know how to do anything else, so within about ten seconds of logging in to WoW for the very first time I was dead. Sure, I probably shouldn't have pissed off that pig, but we learn from our mistakes. I only just yesterday got him up to level 10, but I don't really know if I'll continue with him. I also only just got him pants. He was wearing that tunic and what was essentially matching underwear, and he looked like he was representing the Gay Pride faction of Azeroth. I need to get him some shoes, he looks like a filthy hippie.

This is the second guy I made (but on my first night, like Taladen), a Human Hunter. I like that he has a wolf (named Wuff), but I don't like that he looks like he's wearing a dress. I've yet to spend the time tracking him down some MAN PANTS. His guild tabard looks rad though. Check him out! I'm guessing he will probably end up being my Alliance main, but I don't like him THAT much, and to be honest it really pisses me off that his name is displayed as 'Mcclayne' instead of the intended ' McClayne'. He's technically named after John McClane, but he does not have anywhere near the required badassery to be worthy of that title.

Typhir is my faaaaaavourite. But I think it's mainly just cause he's a cow. Though he's a massively badass black cow. With hate in his eyes. His pet thing is really very crap, an ostrich type thing I called KFC, but it does its job. Of killing fellow birds in a brutal manner. He'll definitely be my Horde main, and will actually probably be my MAIN main, despite the fact that most of my friends are Alliance, so he'll have no one to hang out with, but does it LOOK LIKE HE CARES?

No.

 

I am Murloc. No, *I* am Murloc.

So, I'm not really the type to do a blog just to post a YouTube video...but I am today. Last night I was trying to get my Human to 10, for the ridiculous reason that I downloaded the WoW Armory app but it doesn't recognise your characters until they're at least a 10. For the record I only got to 9 before I got bored, but anyway.

The POINT is that I encountered (and killed the hell out of) my first Murloc last night. And then I found this song on someone's Tumblr, and I lol'd. You'll lol too.

World of WHAT-NOW?

I'm back, y'all! I'm going to try to not be such a lazy blogger in 2011, but you know. I get bored quickly. Blogs feel like homework, and if I'm procrastinating I can almost always find something else to do.

But really I'm back because I have news. Yeah! Firstly, I have a Tumblr. I did actually think of moving the whole blog over to Tumblr, but while it's easy to generate content, you just don't have as much opportunity for discussion & feedback as you do on a normal blog. So, main blog will stay here, and little funny bits and pieces will be posted over there.

Second, well...it's something I'm not really that proud of:

I've started playing World of Warcraft. Well, I guess 'playing' is maybe a bit of a stretch, 'running around getting lost' is more what I'm doing, but nonetheless I'm participating. It's only been a  couple of days, but I do think I'm destined to be a bit of a self-loathing WoW-er. I've had a lot of friends who've played WoW for a long time, and for me it's always seemed to be the final barrier between casual nerdiness and epic nerd-dom. Like 'Sure, I'm a bit of a nerd, but it's not like I play WARCRAFT!' It was an early Christmas gift from Luke and Suzanne, and while I suspect it was a thinly veiled attempt to get more real-life friends in their guild, it would have been suuuuuper rude of me to reject the gift. So, A-Warcrafting I went.

The whole experience started off really badly. After 6 hours of installing, and downloading, and swearing, and wishing I'd never bothered with any of it, I finally had it all done and made up a character. Hurrah! Then I tried to go into the world, and my computer blue-screened. Tried again, another crash. Tried again, crashed again. Uninstalled the game and tried to just run it off a hard drive. CRASH. Checked all my computer's specs against the recommended specs for the game, and my video card exceeded what was required. Siiiigh. Tried it on my netbook (yes, the baby computer designed only for reading emails and casual web surfing) and it worked fine. WHAT. I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of playing the game on a 10" screen with a computer that does struggle with the graphics on occasion, but I seem to have no other option.

My second hurdle was the gameplay. I'm a child of the SNES/Gameboy/Playstation era, and apart from a joystick with the old Commodore 64 I've only EVER used game controllers to play games, and even then, I'm not really a 'gamer'. The co-ordination required to use keys and mouse to do things was just TOO MUCH. I 'played' for about two hours on that first night (though really, most of it was spent figuring out how to, like, walk) and my brain was super fried. I was lucky enough to have some guild members around to help me though, but at that point I was kind of over it and not really sure that I was going to bother continuing.

Played a little by myself the next day, and got my co-ordination figured out a bit more, but I still wasn't overly enjoying it. I'd abandoned my Night Elf druid in favour of a Human hunter, cause the pet wolf was a lifesaver while I was trying to not die.

Was talking to a few friends the next day who gave me some super useful tips which streamlined the gameplay and dampened some of my frustration. Using 'W' to go forward was WAY easier than holding both mouse buttons, and then 'Auto-run' was even better. Auto-loot was saving a bit of time, though I haven't quite worked out where I can sell my extra items, so it made my bag fill up pretty quickly. Started a Tauren to try out all these tricks, and got to level 9 in half the time it took me to get to level 7 with the Human. Progress!

It's still kind of fiddly, and my Achilles Heel is my inability to turn around quickly, but it's OKAY. Two days ago I was hovering over the button to kill my account, but I've moved from fiery rage to grudging tolerance so I guess I'll just stick at it. The only real problem now is that playing with the Tauren makes my Human look super boring, so I want a werewolf guy, but to get a werewolf guy I'd need to buy the other two expansions. I feel gross enough over having to pay money to keep playing the game in the first place, but paying EXTRA money to play it? I'm just not up to that point yet.

I'm clearly not above accepting gifts, though.

Happy John Barrowman Day!

While the origins of John Barrowman Day are less than heroic (we discovered that John Barrowman had a CD, we gathered together to listen to it and had a wonderful time, and thus it was decided we would come together on May 12 every year to celebrate the general awesomeness that resulted from John Barrowman), the main thing is the CELEBRATION of John Barrowman Day.

Because, let's face it, John Barrowman is pretty freakin awesome. Let's have a look at some of the awesome things John Barrowman does:

John Barrowman is the head of Torchwood, and he'll fuck up your shit with some alien tech. Then he'll try to have sex with you. Often he'll succeed.

John Barrowman SINGS THE HITS! Of the 80s. For the record, I do actually own and genuinely like this album. It's insanely charming. But, er, moving right along...

John Barrowman shoots LASERS out of his fucking HANDS! Forget Iron Man and his repulsor glove crap, John Barrowman will razzle-dazzle you to death at 100 paces. And he will look insanely happy while doing it.

John Barrowman appreciates the unquestionable humour of kilts. Also he probably likes flashing people. And he's Scottish, despite the, er, American accent.

John Barrowman is such a consumate professional that he can say THAT LINE with something resembling a straight face. The poor, poor cat. Wait, he was talking about her cat, right?

John Barrowman made out with SPIKE from BUFFY! He also made out with some other guys, but they weren't as awesome as SPIKE from BUFFY!

John Barrowman dresses his dog in....people...........clothes. Okay, alright, that's not that great. But what IS GREAT, is this video:

First, he kisses David Tennant, then he unleashes sass on the Comic Con audience. WHAT. A. DUDE. It's so good I can even excuse the fact he's wearing Ed Hardy. I didn't realise people of sound mind actually WORE that garbage.

So where ever you are on May 12th, take some time out to reflect on that guy who plays Captain Jack in Torchwood, and how awesome it is that he got to kiss David Tennant that one time. And Spike from Buffy. And that guy who plays Ianto whose name I can never remember.

Dream Team Update: Rd 4 & 5

Above is the logo for my Dream Team. Have you ever seen anything so goddamn glorious? As the only girl in both my DT leagues, I saw it as my duty to unleash the rainbow unicorn with hate in his eyes. He'll cram fairy dust in places where the sun don't shine. However, it's becoming painfully evident that he's not really helping me in my campaign for DT supremecy.

We all make mistakes...

...but mine wasted both my money and an hour of my time.

After buying House of the Dead: Overkill for the Wii (and loving the shit out of it), I bought the House of the Dead 2 & 3 double pack for the grand price of $30.  Watch this entirely-too-long review video to get the gist of my zombie gore-fest purchase:

The story is rubbish, the character voices are awful, and the dialogue leads me to believe that Tommy Wiseau may have consulted on the project, but that's what makes it AWESOME. I lol'd at entirely unintentional jokes while blowing out the ribcages of my undead foes. I'm yet to play it 2-player, but it's certainly on the cards. I give it three and a half zombie torsos out of five.

So after my bargain purchase I was thirsty for another game which would allow me to totally wail on dudes with my lethal Wii zapper. I went to Toys R Us and paid fifty whole human dollars for the Mad Dog McCree Gunslinger Pack, which had three (count them, THREE!) Mad Dog games on the one disc AND a new light gun which looked incredibly exciting.

Then I got it home and realised it was the game I'd avoided like the plague at Timezone as a youngster.

What. A pile. Of shit. The gun was shit, and needed for the Wii-mote to have the Motion Control attached before it would fit in. The game itself was more or less just a super shitty movie where you sometimes shot at stuff. It just doesn't translate from the arcade to console. Maybe the annoying movie segments were great in the arcade and made you feel like you were getting more game time, but at home you find yourself shooting the undertaker in the face when he pops up to inform you that you've lost a life. Yes, thanks, I was aware of that. The mexican stereotype who shot me dead was a pretty good indicator. There's also a bar whore who pops up when you shoot a civilian to remind you to, er, not shoot civilians. Somehow I don't think she's in the best position to be lecturing on morals.

Anyway, this game blows. To say it sucks balls would be offensive to balls, but if you (somehow) liked this game back in the day, you may want the stab of nostalgia. I hope whoever decided to re-issue this game had a stab of nostalgia. Right through their eyeball. I wish I'd saved my $50, bought that amount of Wii credit, and downloaded five 'just as shitty but ten times more enjoyable' Megadrive or SNES games. Yeah, Ecco the Dolphin would have been better than this shit. I give it one bar whore out of five.

Dream Team 2010: The Story So Far

There is no greater image to sum up my Dream Team form thus far than this one of Barry Hall punching Brent Staker in the face. Right in his face. After only three rounds, I am up shit creek without a paddle, so let's have a look at where it all went wrong.

New Who finally unleashed

I'm a few days behind the rest of the internet squawking in regards to the new Doctor Who episode, but better late than never I suppose. I shall save my proper squawking for another day once I've watched the episode again and have written down all my little niggles (ruh roh!), but as an interim review, I more or less liked it. I'm really not sold on Loafy yet, but it's only the first episode, and I imagine he'll act slightly less like a total spaz as the show goes on.

Anyway, writeup will come when I get around to it. Hopefully soon though! Cause I know you're all sitting there hitting refresh compulsively.

Why April will be AWESOME

April is shaping up to be a pretty great month, for several very big and awesome reasons.

Number 1: Doctor Who is back, holy shit!

The exact date seems to be a little up in the air at the moment, but it's looking like the first few days of April. While I am still grieving over the loss of the One True Doctor, I'm looking forward to having new Who every week, and snickering over how Loafy isn't as awesome as Tennant, and The Ginger isn't as great as Rose. I must do an early apology to Matt Smith for the fact I will be referring to him as 'Loafy' for his entire Dr Who career, though it's not my fault his head is so rectangular and loaf-like. Also, insulting him helps me to deal with the loss of One True Doctor much better. But they're insults laced with love. He's still the Doctor, after all.

Number 2: The Stereophonics are coming back, holy shit!

They're generic Brit-rock and they get a bit more 'meh' with every record, but I don't care cause they're my favourite band in the whole damn world. April 10, Fremantle Arts Centre. OMG. I hope to be taking photos at the show, but even if I'm not I'll still be there fangirling my face off.

Number 3: Nexus is on again, holy shit!

I've tried to fill the time in between Nexuses (Nexii?) by going to other, far less superior collectible fairs, but all they do is highlight how awesome Nexus is. I went a bit crazy last time and bought a whole bunch of crap, so this time I expect to be a little more discerning. I believe it's on April 10. April 10 will be a very exciting day! Kotobukiya Scout Trooper, you shall be MINE!

Number 4: Glee is back, holy shit!

Surely it can't still be a guilty pleasure if everyone likes it? Surely? It's like a little bit of giddy sunshine every week, and if the limp-as-hell storyline starts to bore you, you can just fast forward to the singing! The new season brings us episodes by Joss Whedon, and starring Neil Patrick Harris. BARNEY ON GLEE. How fantastic.

Number 5: AFL Dream Team, holy shit!

Dream Team actually officially starts in just over a week, which is funnily enough when the AFL season starts, but I haven't participated in the competition before, so come April I'll have a few rounds under my belt and will be really hitting my stride. I'm confident with my team, the NAB Cup test run had them scoring pretty well, but at the moment the biggest decision in my life is trying to work out if I should keep Ben Cousins in my team and give him a shot for old time's sake, or trade him for a younger player who is a greater chance of playing all 22 games and less likely to end up in hospital with alcohol poisoning (SPECULATION). Expect to hear a lot more about Dream Team over the year. This is better than footy tipping. SO MUCH BETTER.

Soundwave

I took some pictures at Soundwave on Monday, and now that they've been in the paper I can unleash them on the world. But I'm not actually that motivated to do a full post over at my usual photoblog jacintamathews.com so I'll just be displaying a couple of the boycrushes I didn't have prior to Soundwave, but definitely did after.

This is what Davey Havok from AFI used to look like:

Foul.

But, this is what Davey Havok looks like now:

To that I say OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. God bless the day that he decided to stop looking like a Thai transvestite, and start looking like a total hottie.

Jane's Addiction weren't even on my radar before Soundwave, but now Dave Navarro's torso is burnt into my retinas and it's all I see when I close my eyes. This isn't really a bad thing, but I'm sure my optometerist would say otherwise. Watching Perry Farrell slink around like a feline minx was pretty damn good too.

So yes, more pictures will be up on jacintamathews.com eventually, but I'm notoriously lazy about updating it, so don't hold your breath.

OMGWTFBBQGALLIFREY

Quick post to share a couple of photos of the new Doctor Who & Torchwood 'dolls' released by Tonner. And then after the photos is my approximate reaction to the 'dolls'. First is (apparently) The Doctor and second is (apparently) Jack Harkness. Oh, and also keep in mind these cost US$180. And only an extra US$50 if you want the Doctor's brown coat.

Does anybody else get the feeling that reference pictures of David Tennant and John Barrowman weren't even in the general vicinity of the location where these abominations were being put together? Though if they were actually planning on making 'creepy-stalker Martin Short' and 'winter-fun Tom Cruise' dolls then they're right on the money.